From a daughter in a western state
I wrote my story below before I watched the movie. Then I watched and it was so eerie. At different times, it made my stomach flip, it felt like my heart was in my throat, and I almost cried. I laughed a little at the very end.
Both of my parents are lifelong conservatives, both are college educated in professional fields, and both have inborn tendencies toward racial and religious prejudice (and each of them had one set of immigrant grandparents!). Neither was very outspoken, but I knew who they voted for.
I grew up in a fairly insular environment, a once-small town that was rural at the time, and didn't really become conscious of the implications of their subtle rhetoric until late in high school and after I left for college. Distance equals perspective, but I wrote off their attitudes to their own mid-century upbringings.
As far as I can recall, our family watched the evening news on one of the national networks and the local news that followed; we had an antenna, never cable. I really don't remember talk radio being around; Dad liked the oldies station, or sometimes country-western, and that's what I remember being on if the radio was on at all.
Sometime maybe in the late 1990s (?), after I had left home, they discovered 'Rush' on the radio. They talked about his rantings with each other like that was the current news of the day. I was only 'home' now and then, so didn't witness the full continuum, but I wish I had taken notes as it was happening, so seemingly gradual it was at first.
About the turn of the century, my parents moved to a rural county on the other side of the state (geographically left, politically right). They became embedded in a right-leaning culture, and associated with right-wing neighbors who became their friends. Other radio personalities took root (now they also talked about 'what Hannity said today').
Their car radios were permanently tuned in. Dad listened to it while fixing things in the garage. Sometime in the early 2000s (?) they got satellite television and Dad discovered Fox News. (Related, his already far-right-wing career military older brother assisted, I think, in the RWM indoctrination process.)
Dad started believing that the 'main stream media' was a left-wing conspiracy. If he heard something on right-wing shows that wasn't on the regular news, he would say that the networks were hiding it from the people. His critical faculties faded, his paranoia grew. Dad became part of what I could only call a propaganda email network, and while he was never the source he was a willing vector for dissemination. He would get the daily blast and forward it to his address book, truly believing that he was doing a public service.
He alienated some old friends this way, but he solidified his new friendships by being part of their group. Naturally gullible (by his own admission), Dad started subscribing to all manner of conspiracies (some I recall: climate change is a Chinese hoax, Obama is going to impose Sharia law, the government is going to confiscate everyone's guns, China is trying to poison Americans with frozen chickens?, the U.S. wants to become a surveillance state like China, science itself is a left-wing conspiracy and he bought in to the anti-higher education rhetoric in general; he even literally bought into a scheme that said the coming Muslim takeover would abolish the dollar and we would all have to use actual gold coins for money).
He spouted the daily rhetoric about myriad subjects and conspiracies he otherwise knew nothing about (in the early years, I would send him links to informative articles, or even Snopes links to show how a story wasn't true; he eventually stopped including me on his mailing list). If challenged, he would say: why don't you go research it (no Dad, you should do that so you know what you are talking about). Each day a new subject, and the old subjects just faded away having served their purpose of keeping the audience riled and rapt. His entire perspective on the world became oriented around fear and anger.
After finishing three degrees in the natural sciences, I moved back to my home state in the mid-2000s as this transformation process was ramping up, just before the election of President Obama. Not only did the broadcast RWM shows go into overdrive, I had not before known and could not have imagined the kind of underground, truly vile 'thought' that emerged in the form of email and online propaganda.
That stream of base vulgarity came to dominate his entire view of the country, if not the world. He would say the word "Democrats" in a growling, hissing voice. Being a registered independent (because I don't believe in the party system and think that it is inherently divisive), I became his target. He routinely blamed me personally for everything he believed was wrong---and he believed everything was wrong. He truly saw me as his enemy; I was sometimes afraid of him.
He was not interested in fact or inconvenient truths; if I tried to defend myself, he would say, "Don't be so sensitive" in a sneering, condescending voice. I have made a point for my own well being to not dwell on these events and to try to forget about them, but I will never forget one thing he said: "I don't know where we went wrong with you." In his eyes, I was a failure because I didn't turn out the same way.
I might have naively hoped that when the presidential candidate he voted for was elected in 2016 that his fervor would abate. Instead, it only became more extreme and his devotion even more unwavering. He continued to parrot the daily blasts despite persistent ignorance of underlying issues (one notable time he ranted about "A.I.C." without realizing his error).
During that fateful era, there was nothing his dear leader could do (fraud, lies, corruption, hypocrisy, misogyny, bigotry, incompetence, treason) that both of my parents would not excuse, or blame on 'the liberals', or simply look past. Even after the insurrection, Dad followed Fox's lead and Mom said the reaction was 'silly'. (Related, both of my parents admired the lead dealer during his early years of fame in the 90s, seeing him as a capitalism success story while ignoring the underlying nepotism and corruption that made much of it possible. Around the same time, I think, they both also wanted the Constitution to be changed so that a certain California governor could run for president.)
Meanwhile, Dad, always to some degree hard of hearing because of a lifelong hunting and shooting hobby, has grown progressively, functionally, nearly deaf. He refuses to try a hearing aid, and has mainly isolated himself from interactions with other people of normal hearing range. He has breakfast with a group of like-minded, similarly impaired (and aged) friends almost every day who all tolerate loud speaking, reinforcing his narrow and stilted view of the world.
And he sits at his computer much of the time watching Fox News, military/war channels, and YouTube videos with the volume set at 90; even my mom can't tolerate that, further reinforcing both his isolation and his perception that the world is falling apart and his own family is against him.
I have seen my dad actually taking notes while he watches Fox News programs. In the last few years, he has discovered YouTube propaganda videos and follows the 'recommended' ones down the rabbit hole. He now subscribes to not fewer than four gun-themed magazines; I have seen him surfing guns-and-ammo websites and, while looking at an ad for bulk ammunition, using a calculator to compute the cost per bullet to see if it was a good deal.
He truly believes that there are mortal threats in the world and that he will need to defend himself with force someday. He buys both hard cover and audio books about 'the death of America' in all its iterations. I have seen him, when he thinks no one is around, become physically agitated, audibly growling at the television, shouting and spewing strings of derision at or about the subject on the screen.
He employs racial, misogynistic, and phobic slurs, sometimes even in good company; he has adopted the language of offense and supremacy. He is proud of the antics of the far-right, female House member from his congressional district. All of this has been renewed with the election of President Biden, who my dad reflexively blames for ruining the country (already!).
This rhetoric colors his every thought, and dominates our family as a consequence.
Perhaps he was primed from his background to be receptive to right-wing media, but I don't think my dad would have become a borderline extremist if the RWM hadn't provided the space, the fodder, and the cultural example. I have only recently started to realize that the RWM vacuum is a cult, and that he is both acolyte and addict.
I have urged him to just turn it off, but he cannot quit, even for his own health (high blood pressure??). He used to have other interests, but it sometimes seems like he has become a slave to the media, rarely straying out of reach. Conversation about anything else is an effort for him, and he spends much of his time alone.
I don't know him anymore apart from this; I don't think he would be recognizable to himself of 20 years ago; I don't think he even hears himself anymore or recognizes where he is on the spectrum. I am resigned that this will be the case for the rest of his life, and for our now limited life as a family.
If I hadn't seen it happen firsthand, I would have thought surely people are exaggerating about their own family schisms. But it is all too real. So many 'me too' stories, each tragic in its own way, adding up to a national tragedy that almost defies explanation or solution. Thank you for creating this space to share.
P.S. The NPR program 'On the Media' has produced several insightful episodes about the contemporary influence of far-right media (https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm). Recently, they broadcast a series entitled "The Divided Dial" about the evolution of the right-wing media we know today, going back decades. Every perspective helps to understand this intentionally toxic, destructive phenomenon.